Patty Pan
by Anrui-chan
Summary: Oh I just wanted to make fun of Petter Pan...everyone says they love this story so I put it up, read it! All you need to know is I am Anrui and my friend is Kyorei (I put us in the story) Ja!


Wendell, a dashing young man, was fast asleep with a fair amount of drool coming from the side of his mouth. As he dreamed of things only teenage boys would, something hit his window. Being as he was sleeping quite hard, he didn't awaken. The figure tried the door, but it was locked, so looking away, the figure smashed her hand through the glass and turned the knob with ease, reaching in. She entered, rushing. Dressed in green and a sharp hat to top it off. "Hey dude! Wake up!" She called to Wendell, but alas, he just rolled over. She plugged his nose with her hand and waited. Nothing happened. "A mouth breather, is he?" She took his own pillow and pressed it tightly over his face until he struggled to go on living. Taking the pillow off, he was allowed to sit up and adjust to the lack of brain cells he now had. "Who the hell are you?" Wendell asked with all the charm a man could who had just been attracted and was now holding a baby blanket tightly at his side. "I am Patty Pan." He paused, and so did she. "What do you want Patty?" "I have to go pee, really hella' bad." Wendell, not one to turn down a lady in need, waved her in the right direction. Happily, she went, coming back a little later after a flush. She stood expectantly. "What is it now?" Wendell asked. "Want to come to Never Never Land?" Patty asked. "For the sake of moving this damn story along, yes. You fly?" She took him by the hand and pushed him out the window. "No, I dog paddle."  
Back in Never Never Land was Caption Anrui-chan, a lovely young lady that didn't really like anyone other then her friend Kyorei Smee. They sat in a great room toward the front of a ship. "Hey Kyorei," Anrui said taking a sip of soda, "Patty Pan is bringing some like Earth dude here." Kyorei looked out the window. "Wha, how can you tell?" Anrui batted her eyes. "I am the author, I know everything, and I control all." "Cool! Can you give me bigger boobs?" Kyorei had round full breasts almost to heavy for her to stand upright, but alas, had a large arse to go with it. "You suck..."  
Patty drug him over stars and what not to get to the star 152 degrees to the left if you were facing the Quick Stop on Main Street, the truth isn't always poetic. They landed on top of a cave, and Patty led him inside. Inside it was lighted from the outside perfectly, and you could perfectly see all the trash and toys everywhere. About ten kids stopped beating the crap out of each other and stared at the new comer. "Hey guys." Patty greeted. "Who is the weird looking kid?" One asked. "I am Wendell...Shouldn't there be more of you?" He asked. Patty shrugged, "Well, half of them took off their own to live on the other side of the island." In the background you hear, "Kill the beast! Cut his throat! Spill his blood!" "So, I guess Wendell is going to be your new dad eh?" The kids look at each other, and then at Wendell. Wendell looked at Patty. "Earn your keep!" She demanded. A male fairy came out of Patty's pocket, looking not all to happy. "Who is that?" Wendell asked. "That's Tinker-Dude." Tinker-Dude flew in Patty's face. "How dare you keep me in your pocket for so long! Your arse smells like a-" Patty caught him in a fist, shutting him up. "Come on everyone, lets get back to playing!" After hours of playing catch, fixing things, talking about the birds and bees, and even sex, a letter came, being dropped by a bird. Patty took it, reading it to herself, it read:  
Hey Patty Pan,  
So, I hear you got a new boy toy. Well, you know how I am, so it's needless to say, come on over and let me kill you! Come over after lunch, and if things don't work out, I'll have you over for dinner.  
Sincerely,  
Captain Anrui  
Being as Patty had no dinner plans, she took Captain Anrui-chan up on her offer, and brought a salad.  
It was Captain Anrui-chan in one corner, and Patty Pan in another. The tension was high, and kids were fingering the food laid out for dinner already. Each held a sword in their hand so tightly the shape was imprinted into their skin. Sweat brimmed at their foreheads and lips went dry. Finally all that moment building crap was over when a chopper can into view and a man was lowered from a ladder between the two girls. It was Billie Joe! Lead singer for the punk band Green Day. "Come on you guys," He said, "Don't fight. Remember my song 'Bagatelle'?" Kyorei cleared her throat. "Um, I don't think that was one of yours." "Ya," Anrui spoke up, "It was a symphony by Beethoven..." Billie shrugged. "I guess...but aren't I hot?" Everyone nodded and talked among themselves in allowance for the statement. "let's not fight!" Said Patty throwing her sword to the side. Anrui smiled and hugged Patty, it was really sweet aside from the fact she stabbed her in the back. There was a pause then everyone clapped. "All the clapping in the world wont bring that bitch back." Tinker-Dude mumbled. Wendell, feeling he had been left out of everything, went up to Kyorei and swept her off her feet kissing her patiently. As the kiss ended he put her down and said, "With those boobs and that butt, your heavy." Kyorei turned to Anrui angrily. "You suck..." 


End file.
